I haven't died, but due to being ill I sure do feel very close to dying still. I've been sick for over 2 weeks now, and to be honest, it's getting annoying. I've tried to go back to work on and off for several days, but can't quite make it through a full day. When will the chest pains, aching cough, sinus headaches and extreme exhaustion dissapear?
Work overall is going well, and my new supervisor is starting to really understand his job and areas of responsibility, which has been good to watch as people are now realising just how far he can be pushed on some subjects and not on others. There's also been a couple coaching changes and new people have been hired and will be starting next month. Looking forward to it all I must say.

And the Doctor Says................................

I am not going to die! Yes, there is something wrong with me, but it's all related to complications with my on going health issues. So, more tests are being ordered, but don't know when they will take place yet. Meanwhile, I am suppose to get even more strict with my diet and to controll my stress level.....as if i didn't know that one already. Thanks for the prayers! Ciao

Hi one and all. Just a quick one tonight. I need some prayer! My blood work results from when I went to the hospital for tests last week have come in and the doctor has requested to see me at his office in person. Usually if there isn't anything wrong, he calls the house. So, please pray that nothing isn't serious and if there is something wrong, that i can be easily repaired. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks for the prayers!

Mind Games

I have a question. Why do we let our mind or the devil, to play mind games with us and work up our anxiety? For example. I know i am behind on a credit card payment and I know for a fact that my credit card is over it's limit (i cut up my credit card a year ago, but due to the fact that my payments are smaller than the total interest being accumulated each month, it doesn't seem like i'm getting anywhere with it). I knew this in my mind, and then i got a call from my credit card company giving me a big speech about how i need to pay it --- as if i didn't know that! So now, I have myself all worked up and very much in a state of anxiety even though i knew this was the case to begin with. Plus the fact that i am paying interest on my student loans as i go along and those payments are not small by any means either. Being a student with no income to come my way for another month to a month and a half sure is stressful at times! Please pray that i just keep on trusting God with all of this and that my stupid mind and anxieties won't keep me up at night either.

Paper Cuts

Who knew that paper cuts would actually hurt as bad as they do when you do get a bad paper cut. Paper is suppose to be a safe thing. I've been stuffing close to 3000 envelopes over today and tomorrow, and I already have 9 paper cuts on my left hand alone....and they are not minor paper cuts either. I think I would rather have a knife slightly slice my skin than i would a paper cut.
Anyways, my time this week has been a lot of admin work and meaningless tasks around the office. I spent half my day yesterday at the hospital for tests because i've been sick with a flu type illness for over 2 weeks now.
My athletic department is hosting one of the Saskatchewan Basketball Provincial Championships on the weekend, and i am the media coordinator for it. I think it will be great fun.
Tomorrow is the beginning of my dad's and my favourite time of the year for American College Basketball because it is the start of their 2 week National Championships Tournament. I love it when work schedules start to revolve around the cable sports channel.....besides, i work in an athletic department....do i have to have an excuse??? Go Zags Go!!

Patient Waiting by Pamela Macquade

I have a devotional book by Pamela Macquade, and I came across this devotional the other day. I think this is quite appropriate for not just myself, but other people that I know right now too.
"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him"
Lamentations 3:25
"None of us gets every expectation fulfilled by God in a moment. All of us wait on Him at time that may seem painful or inconvenient to us. But as we're waiting, do we understand that this, too, can be God's goodness?
Waiting to find a mate can be difficult - I know that from experience (me too). But I decided that marrying the right person - God's person - was better than suffering through a divorce with the wrong person. And wait I did. How long? Let's just put it this way: anyone who feels that waiting until 25 to marry is too long just hasn't begun to wait, if that's God's will.
As the yeas went by, I was tempted to think I'd done something wrong. I wondered if I had some huge character flaw that no one was willing to share with me. One older friend asked if all the men in my state were blind. Still I waited, patiently praying, seeking to obey God's will for my work and spiritual life. When my social life seemed empty, I still hung on.
Finally, about the time I decided no one was coming, I met my husband, who had also been faithfully waiting. We didn't marry at the usual age but in God's perfect timing. Many problems that might have endangered our relationship, if we'd married earlier, had already been dealt with. God has been good to us, though we hadn't understood it all those years.
If you too, are waiting on God's timing, do so patiently. Trust that it's all for your good, and you'll find, in the end, that it was. "

I found that devotional to be extremely encouraging when i read it over the other night.
I know for me, waiting to find my mate is not the only thing i've been waiting to occur: finishing school, finding a proper job, returning to Winnipeg in September and then a year from now possibly being able to leave Winnipeg due to the fact I'll be done Uni, wanting to return to England and not knowing when this will occur. All of this could be extremely dissapointing and frustrating if I choose to focus in on the negative of each aspect instead of focusing on the positive of what can happen as I finish each one off. God has me in each situation and time period for a reason. I have to not look at is as a "holding cell" while I wait for God to show me what is next. I need to see this as what God has for me to do here and now and patiently wait for what He wants for me to learn and grow in next. It's not always easy, but being challenged to trust and willing to be where God needs and wants you to be (even when you don't want to be) in the long run is an extremely rewarding thing.

Hang in there everyone. Praying for you and love you all loads!!!

I was chatting with various people today, and I came to realise that in the next year (actually the next 14 months), I could be in for a very bumpy and yet exciting year. In the several months ahead, I get to be a camp assistant director, I get to move back to Winnipeg and have my sister move in with me, before moving occurs a place of residence needs to be found, and i start my last 8 classes of university. Plus, I need to find a way of getting back to England to visit. After university is finished, it's time to hit the real world and find a proper job, and i'm not confined to one geographical location (which i can honestly say right now is a blessing of being single....unlike other people that i know of at the moment). The next year does scare me as much as it excites me. I wish we could just ask God about the future and have him answer us audibly, but then we wouldn't need real faith and trust in him to guide us now would we?

Some of you know and some of you don't know that I have been struggling lately being connectedspiritually in a church with solid preaching and with the lack of a cell group to be in (the one and only viable church option for me in Caronport does not have small groups). It's sad to say, but I can't remember when the last time was that I was solidly challenged by a sermon. It could have been in Winnipeg over the last 6 months, but more realistically, it hasn't been since I left Luton. I'm still attending church,I haven't given up on the possibility of hearing a really great sermon. I enjoy the worship. However, what i am decidedly lacking in right now is fellowship to help challenge me in my growth and to share one on one my struggles and triumps. Not having personal fellowship with other believers in a small group setting is really taking it's toll on me spiritually.
I don't really know what to do about it at this point, but I know something has got to change soon. I'm starting to feel like a gold fish that has been out of it's bowl for too long and is craving water and oxygen to survive.